Hilarious training gimmicks – #5 The ThighMaster

posted in Gimmicks, by Clint Nielsen on January 15, 2011
5 Comments

Why am I harping on such an old gimmick?
This product is kinda old (circa 1991), but is well deserved at copping a hiding from yours truely.
It genuinely helped kick-start the “results by association” phenomena which is prevalent in the fitness industry today.
“If Suzanne Somers has great legs, and she uses the ThighMaster, it must work.”

Although this product is (ridiculously) split up into 2 unique products, I’m going to attack them as a whole as it’s pretty much the same thing just in a different size.
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Category: Gimmicks

Finally! Power Balance bracelets exposed as a scam

posted in Gimmicks, by Clint Nielsen on December 23, 2010
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In follow up to a previous article I wrote on these little bullsh*t bands, there has been some legal action against The Power Balance band makers by The ACCC.

In an article over at smh.com.au (full article here), it reads:
“The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has ordered Power Balance Australia to refund all customers who feel they were misled by the supposed benefits of Power Balance bracelets.”

Wowser
I wonder if this very news will convince those that have already parted with their $60 to ask for a refund?
It’s a sad case of affairs when Santa Claus is exposed as a ‘sham’, then suddenly Power Balance bands are too.
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Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino gives you another reason to avoid fitness magazines

posted in Gimmicks, by Clint Nielsen on November 4, 2010
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Mens Fitness and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino are a match made in heaven
Television star (The Jersey Shore) meets trashy, ‘unhelpful in any way or form’ magazine.
I admire a person that trains, keeps fit and enjoys life, but when someone gives themselves a moniker such as ‘The Situation’, I roll around on the floor laughing (or ROFL as you kids call it these days on the interwebs).

Why am I posting about this?
This site is all about debunking gimmicks in the fitness industry (for the most part anyway ;)).
The Situation is a gimmick in every sense of the word.

Here is some of his finest douchery
“I could sell t-shirts standing still,” he says. “Everybody loves me – Babies, moms, dogs…cougars! I have unbelievable mass appeal.”
Yes, the mass appeal of root-canal. Read the rest of this entry »

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Six-pack abs can go and get fudged

posted in Diet, Training, by Clint Nielsen on November 2, 2010
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If I see another article talking about six-pack abs and how to achieve them (not including this one), I think I’m going to puke.

It’d be great if Google recognised such search terms and displayed a screen to the user saying:
“You look like you’re delusional and looking for a quick fix, how bout these 3 magic beans instead?”

Look, there’s no magical pill, technique, diet plan or exercise this side of liposuction that’s going to give you a washboard stomach in the near future.
As I’ve mentioned before, it’s a culmination of factors that leads to abdominal glory. Read the rest of this entry »

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Category: Diet, Training

Hilarious training gimmicks – #4 The Power Plate

posted in Gimmicks, by Clint Nielsen on October 25, 2010
10 Comments

Another week, another ridiculous pile of excrement.
Today, I’m going to focus on the Power Plate.

As you can probably tell, The Power Plate is a sh*t-load of awesome
You can hold yourself in ANY one position and melt away the adipose fat around your belly AND shape your butt and thighs all in one masterful go!
It’s so magically amazing, that you can practically lose fat and gain strength whilst eating a family size bucket of KFC.

Ok, so I MIGHT sound a little sarcastic right now, but that’s with good reason.
If you are a nano-second away from putting a down-payment on your first Vibrate Plate, you’d best go to the nearest mirror, slap yourself in the face repeatedly whilst reciting “I won’t buy stupid sh*t any more. Ever, ever, ever.”
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